The Grass is Greener…

duoKy and I wish to report that sometimes the grass really is greener.  Mostly.  We got to go home for a few days.  What was once mundane seemed so magical – I can’t quite explain it.  Our time in Eden wasn’t without reminders of our current reality – there was medicine to take and his line needed to be flushed and maintained and we had about 18 hours worth of a fever that required antibiotics.  But…we had so many average, beautiful moments.

We spent time as a family, we spent time with dear friends, we paired off for mama/daughter and father/son adventures, and then we came back together to compare notes.  We told each other “I love you” more than what most people would regard as socially acceptable.  Given the last month of our lives, I don’t think any of us are willing to leave anything to chance.

On the same day his friends celebrated the end of elementary school with a 5th grade farewell ceremony, Ky learned that he needs a bone marrow transplant.  It feels as though my son has had to take a temporary leave of absence from being a kid.  The depth of unfair as it relates to Cancer seems to know no bounds.

The night he ran the high fever, he reached for me in the darkness.  I thought he was fast asleep; I was laying next to him counting his breaths.  He put his hand on my shoulder and said “Mama, we’re going to beat this.”  It was the first time since his initial diagnosis that I heard that kind of resolve from him.  I don’t know if I’d truly exhaled since I learned he had Leukemia…until then.  Finally, there was a reserve of strength that wasn’t just about the day-to-day.

As for now, Ky and I are back at Maine Medical Center.  Yesterday morning  he had a bone marrow biopsy, as well as a spinal tap and intrathecal chemotherapy.  Late yesterday afternoon, his second round of chemotherapy started.  His bone marrow is on its way to Seattle for testing to help us better understand how the Leukemia responded to the first round of chemo.  Our greatest hope is that he will be in remission.

The doctors in Boston are currently working with the National Bone Marrow Registry on a formal search for Ky’s donor.  He has ten people who are perfect matches.  When I can’t sleep, I think about what those ten people are doing, whether they’ll be willing and able to help Ky as we move forward, what they’re eating for breakfast, and how, when this is all said and done, I will ever repay them.  I think I’ll start with ‘thank you’….and I’ll say it over and over again as he gets to return from his temporary leave of absence…

15 thoughts on “The Grass is Greener…

  1. Thanks for the update. Glad he did have some time at home. I think of you all frequently. I don’t believe in any limit on “I love you”, with what your family has endured or mine. Kick cancer’s ass Kyan!!! I do have nothing but positive thoughts for you all! Love you all my friends!

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  2. He’s an amazing kid, they both are. It’s so good to hear that he knows he’s got this, that HE’S a rockstar, that together you’re all going to beat this. As you lay awake and count his breaths, I lay awake thinking about you all. Give Ky hugs and kisses, pinch his cheeks for Nanu ;). Hug and kiss Quinny for me. I love you all.


  3. Oh honey. I love to think of you all at home, together, saying I love you a thousand times. My eyes get very watery every time I read your writing. My heart and my head and holding you close all the time. I love you and your sweet family very much.
    Pam is part of a drumming circle on Friday nights. Of course. She said she’ll be drumming for you and Kyan.


  4. So glad to read you were all home as a family for a bit! I guess this answers some of my text questions. Thank you for the update. I believe in Ky. You have always believed fully in “I Love You”, never too many. (And I love you!)


  5. I am so thankful that you got some good news that there were some matches found for Kyan. I pray that one of them can help him and all of you. I am so glad all of you got to spend some time at home. I think you all need that from time to time whenever possible. I know there are many of us who not only think of you often, but also are praying for your family. You have all touched many of our lives in so many ways. If there is anything you need, all you need to do is ask.


  6. You, Ky, and all you love are always in my thoughts. Keep fighting no matter how many times cancer seems to be kicking you guys down. I will also take extra time today to smother the people in my life with “I love you”.


  7. I followed a blog from E Lyme, Ct….a mother’s writing of her daughter’s battle with ALL……like Kyan, Maddie seemed to have a wisdom beyond her years. Ky and your family are in my prayers.



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